Still out of the boat

It's been four weeks since I shared that we were stepping out on faith and going through some struggles. It was very rough waters at first and then things settled down for awhile and then the waves got really bad these past few days. I was ready to get back into the boat and go back to where we had come from. I was at my limit.

During one particular evening, I was able to reach out to one of our pastors for assistance. Although we weren't having a face to face conversation (we were "chatting" online as Mark was very ill and asleep and I didn't want to disturb him), I'm confident that he knew that I was very upset and that the tears were freely flowing. I felt guilty for being scared, but I just wasn't able to get past it. He was able to comfort me and encourage me and remind me that he was praying for protection for my family and myself and that it would be alright, no matter what. Although I knew that in my head, it just wasn't getting through the fear to my heart. We ended the conversation when I was in a better spot (I had no doubt that he would not let off the hook and let me get back into the boat!).

Things are still very rough. We have a lot of things to work through. Mark and I both need to continue to seek additional encouragement and support from our pastors to get through this. We have been fearful of some things and those things are present, and we aren't able to get through them by ourselves. So thankful that God has placed such wonderful pastors in our lives! Thank you Dr. Clavell, Rev. Medrano and Pastor Joe!

We continue to press on, knowing that God has a plan for us and that we will be okay at the end of this particular journey. I double checked my scriptures and nowhere does it say that it would be easy (as much as I would prefer it to be). As my former junior high youth leader said a few days ago "I have a love/hate relationship with God's many lessons in my life". I agree Steve!