Time to Reevaluate

I did the most "un-gold" thing ever recently. I totally forgot that I had jury duty. And I mean totally forgot! (For those of you who haven't had to do "True Colors" my color is gold, which in basic terms means strong rule abider). I got the notice before we went on vacation in July and it was for the week after we came back. The week came and went and I totally spaced it. I didn't even send back the response form. For those of you who know me really well can imagine how devastating that was for me when I did remember and realized what I had done. It was at that moment that I realized that I didn't have a good handle on things.

To make a long story short, my wonderful husband called and found out that my number had been dismissed, so it was no big deal. Well, it was to me. I was completely devastated that I had forgotten something as important as that.

Mark and I talked about the idea that perhaps I needed to slow down a little. I know, DUH! We talked about different possible solutions and came to the realization that perhaps my time with the City of Scottsdale is coming to an end in the near future. That was the one thing that we both felt is something that at some point soon, I may not do anymore. Don't get me wrong, I definitely need to bring some income into our household, especially since we just bought a "bus", but we're both talking a step outside the boat knowing that God has something better in store.

My jury duty slip was definitely a rude awakening and I am SO thankful that there wasn't a warrant out for my arrest. i truly don't know what the consequences would have been, but that is definitely worse case scenario.

I am very much at peace with the realization that God does have a plan in mind and now that the seed has been planted, I look forward to what future job opportunities may come my way. I do not plan on leaving my current employment any time soon. I have made a commitment to see this outsourcing issue to the end and then even if it does go away and I still have a job, I doubt that I will stay past my twenty year mark without searching for something different to do.

We've also decided that if God provided us with any more children (no we are not crazy, but we do have two empty beds and two empty seats in the "bus" that we feel God is leading us to fill), that the decision would definitely be made for us and that I would leave my employment by next July (after I reach the milestone of 20 years) and stay home for awhile and try to find something part-time while the children are in school.

I feel so blessed! I love my supportive husband (although my kids don't think mom hanging more is good idea :-), too bad), I absolutely love my new to me Suburban, and I discovered that Shark Week is not for me (although my kids loved it). I'll leave that to Pastor Luis!

God is good! I can honestly say, I truly love my Heavenly Father and I love my crazy life!

Another Mother's Day - Another Reality Check

And this begins year two of my blogging; I began one year ago this week. And it is also another Mother's Day weekend in which I get my once a year HUGE reality check, I am not "mom" to the majority of kids. I was reminded of that last night and this afternoon. Not that I needed to be reminded, but they felt that I did.

This is my first Mother's Day as the mother of four adopted children. TJ is still too little to understand it all, so I'm "mom" to him right now and I'm soaking as much of that in as possible so that during the dry times, I'll still be quenched.

Mark did the typical haul the kids out the store to buy mom a present routine day. One refused to go, which was no surprise. It's a good thing that my skin is pretty thick. I've also learned to be creative; we're having friends over tomorrow evening so that our kids can play, the dads can hang and us moms can go out by ourselves. We're going to celebrate our roles as moms and our friendship!

As I read through my last Mother's Day blog, I was reminded (thanks Carrie!) that God did not invent Mother's Day. All He asked of me is that I raise up my children in His ways. He didn't say that it would be easy all the time or fun. Just that they were a blessing (which mine are!) from Him. I cherish my four blessings and I look forward to spending some time with my mother tomorrow, showing her how much I appreciate all that she did for me and continues to do for me, as well as celebrating with great friends.

I hope that everyone has a great Mother's Day! I am blessed!

Thankful for the little things

I've had the most, not sure how to describe, week. I continue to feel out of sorts, but just keep praying and plugging away. At the end of the week, Satan is still irritating me, but I feel confident that God is protecting me with every step that I take. So, in the quietness of this evening, I say a prayer of thanksgiving for everything that I am thankful for this past week.

I am thankful for:

1. My heavenly Father (I've felt His presense greatly this week!)
2. My loving husband
3. My wonderful (yet annoying) children
4. That I got to see Clara on Wednesday (our staff meeting was cancelled PTL!) and give her a hug and let her know how much she means to us and how much we will miss her loving husband Tom
5. That I appear to have mastered my new washer and dryer
6. That my new washer and dryer lessened the amount of laundry this week (or my family didn't dirty as much as they normally do, I'll take it, whatever the reason is!)
7. That TJ was only nasty sick for a few hours on Friday
8. That Mark was only down for the count sick for 24 hours
9. Vanessa had a good week at school
10. Suzy had a good week at school
11. Jessica is communicating her hopes and dreams to us
12. TJ began escalating at the restaurant today when he got something taken away from him and managed to descalate in record time (less than 60 seconds) without having to go outside. We were amazed and can't wait to report this to his behavior therapist
13. We held a somewhat successful family meeting this evening to redistribute the chores
14. I have amazing friends who pray for me and check in from time to time to remind me that they are praying for me and to see what I need
15. Melissa B. who faithfully picks up my produce co-op basket the 1st and 3rd Saturdays of each month for me
16. That my first week of my Business Statistics class was fairly easy, thanks to Mark going over some of the terminology with me, thinking I will be calling 1-800-ASK-NATE when it starts getting hard (it's been over 24 years since my college algebra class, which is a prerequisite for this class).
17. I got a new medical insurance card and it had Tyler J Eley on it!
18. The cooler weather!

I could go on for at least another 30 things, but you get the idea. Although this week has not been the greatest of weeks, I have SO MUCH to be THANKFUL FOR! God is Good! and I continue to PRESS ON! (thanks Pastor Gregg for that constant reminder!)

Feeling Out Of Sorts

Not having a good day? You're not alone. I'm right there with you! I've been feeling out of sorts since Sunday morning. There are several reasons as to my out-of-sortness, but let's just say that it's life. I try to not let my crazy life get to me, but it has and so now I work through it one step at a time, with a loving family and prayers of friends to help me along the way. I am thankful for the support and prayers that I receive on a daily basis. It is hard to admit that I struggle at times, as I try to hold it all together and be strong. Why? (That's the question my wonderful husband asked me this evening).

That's a good question. God desires that I give Him my worries and fears. He also says that we are to share each other's burdens. Give God my worries and fears. Let others know that I'm struggling and what I need. Not exactly an easy thing to do, especially for me. I am so thankful for the pastor that prayed for (with) me today on the phone. I am so thankful that he realized with what little I told him, that I needed some encouragement.

Life isn't always easy. Satan enjoys messing things up for us and he has definitely gotten to me yesterday and today. Tonight, as I sit here with tears on my face, I am faced with the reality that I can't do it all on my own (a lesson that for some reason I need to be frequently reminded of). I don't even know why I try. My heavenly Father desires that I live my life in the moment and that I trust in Him, knowing that He desires the best for me and that He will help me with whatever comes my way.

So, in my attempt to live my life in the moment and to share with others what I need, I have some things to share:

1. I am committed to enjoy each moment that I have with each one of my children and my spouse. (I've made that statement before, I just need some help in holding me to that).
2. Please pray for us as we work with TJ's doctors and therapist regarding his high level of anxiety and the new medication that he is on for ADHD, as well as his recent diagnosis of CP (please pray that the insurance companies work out who is responsible for what and that we can get some type of physical or occupational therapy for him). The girls have things that they desire that we leave unspoken, but please keep each one of them in prayer.
3. My job - I am in the process of doing an assessment on the possible benefits for outsourcing my division, which could mean that I and my 6 employees would be laid off. Pray that I keep an open mind as I work on finalizing this assessment and that my ethics and values are demonstrated throughout this assessment and final report.

My life may be crazy, but God is right there with me, helping me along with the way. And for that, I am so grateful!

Acronyms, Acronyms, Acronyms

PTSD, ADHD, CP. These are the newest acronyms that describe a sweet little boy that we know and love. The saddest part of it, he's only three and half years old.

We know that God has a plan for his life as well as ours and as we walk this road together, we know that He has his arms wrapped around us, guiding and protecting us along the way.

We are so blessed to have this young man in our lives!

Better Than A Hallelujah?

"Better Than A Hallelujah" This is the title of a new song by Amy Grant. When I heard it for the first time today I didn't understand exactly what that meant. When I heard it for the second time a little later today, I had an Ah Ha moment.

It is actually very simple. God desires that you come to Him when you're having trials and struggles, Actually, He'd much rather have you crying in His arms than singing in the church choir. It's during the tears and comfort that the relationship is strengthened.

In simpler terms... As a parent, would you rather that your child show you that they need you or just compliment you to others and to you? I believe that the majority of us would rather have our children come to us when they are hurting and need us than praising us. This shows a willingness to have a relationship.

I really hope that I can take this concept and use it to help each one of my children go to God when they're struggling instead of suffering on their own. Right now, one of my children is suffering greatly and watching the movie The Blindside tonight increased that suffering. I pray that she will turn to God for help and that she will understand that He wants her to cry to Him.

King David is a great example of someone who both praised and cried out to God. Check out the book of Psalms.

Better Than A Hallelujah... Wish I would have thought to put this concept into words. How great it is to have a wonderful and merciful God who loves it when we cry on Him.

Look up the lyrics, it's a great song!

Looking Forward Instead of Backwards

I find myself always missing the old days. You know, the "good ol' days" when nothing ever seemed to go wrong. But why do they seem so perfect, when back in those days, I was missing the even older days?

This was my oldest teenager's FB status today. How wise her words are. How often do we find ourselves looking back, longing for those days, only to realize that during those times, we were looking back at the earlier days? I know that I sometimes look back. Sometimes it's at stupid stuff (like when I had the MOST AWESOME BATHROOM when we were living in our townhouse instead of the stupid little hole in the wall that we call a bathroom at our house), or when I only worked 8 hours a day and was only responsible for myself (instead of the long hours I work now and supervise 6 people).

Are there things in life that I wish I'd done differently? Of course! Do I have regets? You bet I do! However, I want to finish the race that Christ has asked me to run, and so I will continue to look forward and try not to look back as I press on toward the finish. God sent His Son. To die for us. So that there would be no need to look back. We need to look UP!

This also brings me full circle back to a blog entry that I wrote a little over a month ago. I need to cherish the moments that I have today!