When is enough, enough?

It was brought to our attention this week that as a couple, we look absolutely crazy at times to the outside world. We thought that everyone in our lives knew that we were still licensed for foster care and available as a home for children needing a home. So, when we announced last week that we were being considered as potential parents for a little boy, they were shocked. So, to all those that we shocked, it was not our intent.

As a couple, we feel that God has placed a desire in our hearts to take kids out of the foster care and help them live up to their full potential. We desire to give them all of the skills that they need to be successful life. We desire to raise them according to God's instructions and pray that they choose to live life according to the scriptures. It is ultimately their choice when they reach adulthood as to whether they choose to remain a part of our family, or find their biological family members and return to them.

The question was asked, isn't four children enough? The answer to this we leave up to God.

We had prayed long and hard for a few months after TJ's adoption was final, as we knew that our foster care license expires in November, 2010, as to whether or not we were going to let it lapse or renew it. We were inactive at the adoption agency from the time of TJ's placement until August (once a child is placed for adoption, you are no longer active for new placements, until the adoption of that placement is final and you then state that you are willing to take a new placement), which is when we decided to go ahead and apply for a renewal and activate our current open beds (we are licensed for 2 children, 1 boy and 1 girl, ages 0-10). We have an empty bed in TJ's room and one in Jessica' room.

One major consideration is the amount of time that TJ's behavioral issues take. He currently receives in-home therapy. We recently had a horrible episode with him that was attributed to a medication change. He is currently stable and has been released for the next three months from the psychiatrist, unless he has another manic episode. This is a huge blessing.

To be perfectly transparent, we had not thought about our next placement once we had activated our beds. We know that it is in God's hands and we continue to live, one day at a time (our motto). We know that since we already have four children, depending on the CPS case manager, we may never be picked again to have another placement. Our adoption agency can advocate for us, but they have really don't have any pull. It is really out of ours and the adoption agency's hand. So we know that it is in God's hands.

(Just a side note - every other time that we have been picked as a potential placement for a child(ren), we speak with our current children to see what concerns that they would have. That is definitely one thing with our children - they do NOT say what we want to hear. They are very vocal about their (dis)satisfaction with us and living situation at any given moment. And we have said "no" numerous times to a potential placement, based on whether or not we could handle it as a family).

Are there days that we think wow, how did we make it through? How much more can we take? Absolutely! But then, one way or another, God reminds us that we have Him, and as long as we seek Him, He is always there.

Besides God as the ultimate support system, we have a huge support system in place, which we continue to add. We have counselors (for us and our kids), behavioral specialists, hotline phone numbers, doctors, specialists, other experienced foster families, and other specialists. There is no way that we can meet our children's special needs without them, as we are not educated to handle every issue that they have been exposed to. We are grateful for our network of experts, and for all of the prayers of our friends and family. We also have respite care available to us and that is something that we are going to utilize at least once a month to allow us time to be together as a couple just focus on us.

So, where do we go from here? We wait to hear if CPS feels that we are best fit for this little boy that they are looking for a forever family for. If we are, then we will transition him into our family with the assistance of TJ's therapist. Our steps will be cautious, as this placement could temporarily upset TJ's progress. (Another side note - this child is not a substance exposed child and currently has no behavioral issues - that will definitely be a switch for us!).

If we are not chosen, then we will continue as normal (well, what is normal for us), which is one day at a time. There have been several times that we haven't been chosen as the best fit for a placement, so this process is very familiar to us and there will be a few hours of disappointment for the entire family, but we process through it together and press on. We know that it is in God's hands.

“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for a welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13

One song that I find encouraging during these "waiting" times, is "While I'm Waiting", which I first heard in the movie, Fireproof.


While I'm Waiting
John Waller
The Blessing

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy, no
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait