Arms of Love

The other night I went to sleep, but because I have been sick this past week, it was very restless. As is typical of a school principal, Mark was up working late on something or the other and when he came to bed he noticed how restless I was, so he just wrapped his arms around me and (according to him) I settled right now and went into a deep sleep.

He told me the next morning how great it made him feel that I felt at peace when I was in his arms. Although I have no recollection of him coming to bed and holding me, I have no doubt that I responded that way, because I do feel very safe and loved in his arms. What more could I ask for in my relationship with my husband?

A question came the next day when I heard a (very) old song recorded by Amy Grant (yes, she is one of my favorite CCM artists, although I have several favorites), "Arms of Love". The song says, "Like a child who's held throughout a storm, You (speaking of God) keep me warm in Your arms of love" and the next verse says "Wonder just how many storms it takes until I finally know that you're here always". Do I always remember that I am loved and safe in my Heavenly Father's arms?

I'd like to think that I do, but I know that I fail at remembering this more often that I actually remember. These past few days I've been made aware of several sisters in Christ who are really struggling right now, and I pray that they remember that they are always safe in His arms, especially right now when they are going through this trials.

It is my prayer tonight that we all remember that we are always safe! It doesn't mean that we won't pushed to our limits, but He is in control.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for YOU ARE WITH ME; YOUR ROD AND YOUR STAFF, THEY COMFORT ME! Psalm 23:4 (NIV)

How do you know that God answers your prayers?

How do you know that God answers your prayers? That was a question posed to me recently. And I had search way down inside to form my response. I didn't want to respond with a textbook answer or a typical mom answer. I wanted to show how deeply I know this, even though the person I was talking with does not have a good grasp of the concept of "faith" (or our simple term - walking on the water).

I firmly believe that God answers every prayer (after all, it is biblical). It just may not be the way that we want. But, how do you know? I think the easiest way to see when God answers prayers in with relationships, or more specifically, within people. God has restored many relationships that I have been praying for in a way that was very visible and much more than I could have possible imagined. I gave a few specific examples of my experiences. I'm not sure if the person I was talking to believes this to be true or not still. Unfortunately, two major prayers that this person has been praying have been answered in a way that they do not want and therefore, thinks that their prayers haven't been answered. They have been told "no" and have not accepted this.

God told me "NO" to one of my most recent prayer requests, which was to end the outsourcing issue at my work. I was devastated by the City Council's response to my study that they had asked me to do and gave direction for my executive director to take the next step towards outsourcing us. So, for the last 48 hours I have been diligently working on the Request for Proposal specifications so that a formal bid can be issued. Surprisingly, it came quite easily. Several other cities emailed me some suggestions and their examples as well as other departments within the City. I was so amazed of the support and assistance that I was receiving for myself and my 6 employees. Our executive director came out and met with our entire division, including my employees and allowed me to speak as well and answer their questions. The first draft is done. I need to go back in and add some specific criteria, but the basics are there. I know that God's Will will be done and I realized that this is what my prayer needs to be: That I be accepting of God's Will in this situation and that light of His love and my faith will continue to shine through me and be an example to others.

Time to Reevaluate

I did the most "un-gold" thing ever recently. I totally forgot that I had jury duty. And I mean totally forgot! (For those of you who haven't had to do "True Colors" my color is gold, which in basic terms means strong rule abider). I got the notice before we went on vacation in July and it was for the week after we came back. The week came and went and I totally spaced it. I didn't even send back the response form. For those of you who know me really well can imagine how devastating that was for me when I did remember and realized what I had done. It was at that moment that I realized that I didn't have a good handle on things.

To make a long story short, my wonderful husband called and found out that my number had been dismissed, so it was no big deal. Well, it was to me. I was completely devastated that I had forgotten something as important as that.

Mark and I talked about the idea that perhaps I needed to slow down a little. I know, DUH! We talked about different possible solutions and came to the realization that perhaps my time with the City of Scottsdale is coming to an end in the near future. That was the one thing that we both felt is something that at some point soon, I may not do anymore. Don't get me wrong, I definitely need to bring some income into our household, especially since we just bought a "bus", but we're both talking a step outside the boat knowing that God has something better in store.

My jury duty slip was definitely a rude awakening and I am SO thankful that there wasn't a warrant out for my arrest. i truly don't know what the consequences would have been, but that is definitely worse case scenario.

I am very much at peace with the realization that God does have a plan in mind and now that the seed has been planted, I look forward to what future job opportunities may come my way. I do not plan on leaving my current employment any time soon. I have made a commitment to see this outsourcing issue to the end and then even if it does go away and I still have a job, I doubt that I will stay past my twenty year mark without searching for something different to do.

We've also decided that if God provided us with any more children (no we are not crazy, but we do have two empty beds and two empty seats in the "bus" that we feel God is leading us to fill), that the decision would definitely be made for us and that I would leave my employment by next July (after I reach the milestone of 20 years) and stay home for awhile and try to find something part-time while the children are in school.

I feel so blessed! I love my supportive husband (although my kids don't think mom hanging more is good idea :-), too bad), I absolutely love my new to me Suburban, and I discovered that Shark Week is not for me (although my kids loved it). I'll leave that to Pastor Luis!

God is good! I can honestly say, I truly love my Heavenly Father and I love my crazy life!

Another Mother's Day - Another Reality Check

And this begins year two of my blogging; I began one year ago this week. And it is also another Mother's Day weekend in which I get my once a year HUGE reality check, I am not "mom" to the majority of kids. I was reminded of that last night and this afternoon. Not that I needed to be reminded, but they felt that I did.

This is my first Mother's Day as the mother of four adopted children. TJ is still too little to understand it all, so I'm "mom" to him right now and I'm soaking as much of that in as possible so that during the dry times, I'll still be quenched.

Mark did the typical haul the kids out the store to buy mom a present routine day. One refused to go, which was no surprise. It's a good thing that my skin is pretty thick. I've also learned to be creative; we're having friends over tomorrow evening so that our kids can play, the dads can hang and us moms can go out by ourselves. We're going to celebrate our roles as moms and our friendship!

As I read through my last Mother's Day blog, I was reminded (thanks Carrie!) that God did not invent Mother's Day. All He asked of me is that I raise up my children in His ways. He didn't say that it would be easy all the time or fun. Just that they were a blessing (which mine are!) from Him. I cherish my four blessings and I look forward to spending some time with my mother tomorrow, showing her how much I appreciate all that she did for me and continues to do for me, as well as celebrating with great friends.

I hope that everyone has a great Mother's Day! I am blessed!

Thankful for the little things

I've had the most, not sure how to describe, week. I continue to feel out of sorts, but just keep praying and plugging away. At the end of the week, Satan is still irritating me, but I feel confident that God is protecting me with every step that I take. So, in the quietness of this evening, I say a prayer of thanksgiving for everything that I am thankful for this past week.

I am thankful for:

1. My heavenly Father (I've felt His presense greatly this week!)
2. My loving husband
3. My wonderful (yet annoying) children
4. That I got to see Clara on Wednesday (our staff meeting was cancelled PTL!) and give her a hug and let her know how much she means to us and how much we will miss her loving husband Tom
5. That I appear to have mastered my new washer and dryer
6. That my new washer and dryer lessened the amount of laundry this week (or my family didn't dirty as much as they normally do, I'll take it, whatever the reason is!)
7. That TJ was only nasty sick for a few hours on Friday
8. That Mark was only down for the count sick for 24 hours
9. Vanessa had a good week at school
10. Suzy had a good week at school
11. Jessica is communicating her hopes and dreams to us
12. TJ began escalating at the restaurant today when he got something taken away from him and managed to descalate in record time (less than 60 seconds) without having to go outside. We were amazed and can't wait to report this to his behavior therapist
13. We held a somewhat successful family meeting this evening to redistribute the chores
14. I have amazing friends who pray for me and check in from time to time to remind me that they are praying for me and to see what I need
15. Melissa B. who faithfully picks up my produce co-op basket the 1st and 3rd Saturdays of each month for me
16. That my first week of my Business Statistics class was fairly easy, thanks to Mark going over some of the terminology with me, thinking I will be calling 1-800-ASK-NATE when it starts getting hard (it's been over 24 years since my college algebra class, which is a prerequisite for this class).
17. I got a new medical insurance card and it had Tyler J Eley on it!
18. The cooler weather!

I could go on for at least another 30 things, but you get the idea. Although this week has not been the greatest of weeks, I have SO MUCH to be THANKFUL FOR! God is Good! and I continue to PRESS ON! (thanks Pastor Gregg for that constant reminder!)

Feeling Out Of Sorts

Not having a good day? You're not alone. I'm right there with you! I've been feeling out of sorts since Sunday morning. There are several reasons as to my out-of-sortness, but let's just say that it's life. I try to not let my crazy life get to me, but it has and so now I work through it one step at a time, with a loving family and prayers of friends to help me along the way. I am thankful for the support and prayers that I receive on a daily basis. It is hard to admit that I struggle at times, as I try to hold it all together and be strong. Why? (That's the question my wonderful husband asked me this evening).

That's a good question. God desires that I give Him my worries and fears. He also says that we are to share each other's burdens. Give God my worries and fears. Let others know that I'm struggling and what I need. Not exactly an easy thing to do, especially for me. I am so thankful for the pastor that prayed for (with) me today on the phone. I am so thankful that he realized with what little I told him, that I needed some encouragement.

Life isn't always easy. Satan enjoys messing things up for us and he has definitely gotten to me yesterday and today. Tonight, as I sit here with tears on my face, I am faced with the reality that I can't do it all on my own (a lesson that for some reason I need to be frequently reminded of). I don't even know why I try. My heavenly Father desires that I live my life in the moment and that I trust in Him, knowing that He desires the best for me and that He will help me with whatever comes my way.

So, in my attempt to live my life in the moment and to share with others what I need, I have some things to share:

1. I am committed to enjoy each moment that I have with each one of my children and my spouse. (I've made that statement before, I just need some help in holding me to that).
2. Please pray for us as we work with TJ's doctors and therapist regarding his high level of anxiety and the new medication that he is on for ADHD, as well as his recent diagnosis of CP (please pray that the insurance companies work out who is responsible for what and that we can get some type of physical or occupational therapy for him). The girls have things that they desire that we leave unspoken, but please keep each one of them in prayer.
3. My job - I am in the process of doing an assessment on the possible benefits for outsourcing my division, which could mean that I and my 6 employees would be laid off. Pray that I keep an open mind as I work on finalizing this assessment and that my ethics and values are demonstrated throughout this assessment and final report.

My life may be crazy, but God is right there with me, helping me along with the way. And for that, I am so grateful!

Acronyms, Acronyms, Acronyms

PTSD, ADHD, CP. These are the newest acronyms that describe a sweet little boy that we know and love. The saddest part of it, he's only three and half years old.

We know that God has a plan for his life as well as ours and as we walk this road together, we know that He has his arms wrapped around us, guiding and protecting us along the way.

We are so blessed to have this young man in our lives!