Monday, November 22, 2010

It's Official... Sort of...

After months of prayer and budget spreadsheets, I have definitely decided that I will be leaving my current place of employment. I spoke with my director about my decision and we made an agreement in which I would stay until my 20 year anniversary, which is the middle of July, 2011.

Why would I agree to such a far out time? Why would my director even consider that? The answer is the same to both questions. We have a huge list of objectives to accomplish before he retires late next year, as do I and we want to see them through. He wants me to make sure that I have finished what I was forced to start with the outsourcing bid. He also wants to make sure that my successor is able to take up some of the vacuum that will be there when I leave. The management team knows what our plans are, but my employees do not (with the exception of my successor).

So, what next you may ask? I plan to be a stay at home, at least part-time. I will still need to bring in some sort of income to help cover the shortfall that we need for medical insurance premiums and if we want to have any extras. I've had several ideas come to mind, but my desire is to stay at home as much as possible and not have to work outside the home again. So, now I'm praying for whatever God has planned for this future step that we are taking.

On another note...

We may be having a wedding next summer, right after I leave my job. A little bird told me that a engagement announcement should be forthcoming in the next few weeks...

Stayed tuned for future developments.

Still out of the boat

It's been four weeks since I shared that we were stepping out on faith and going through some struggles. It was very rough waters at first and then things settled down for awhile and then the waves got really bad these past few days. I was ready to get back into the boat and go back to where we had come from. I was at my limit.

During one particular evening, I was able to reach out to one of our pastors for assistance. Although we weren't having a face to face conversation (we were "chatting" online as Mark was very ill and asleep and I didn't want to disturb him), I'm confident that he knew that I was very upset and that the tears were freely flowing. I felt guilty for being scared, but I just wasn't able to get past it. He was able to comfort me and encourage me and remind me that he was praying for protection for my family and myself and that it would be alright, no matter what. Although I knew that in my head, it just wasn't getting through the fear to my heart. We ended the conversation when I was in a better spot (I had no doubt that he would not let off the hook and let me get back into the boat!).

Things are still very rough. We have a lot of things to work through. Mark and I both need to continue to seek additional encouragement and support from our pastors to get through this. We have been fearful of some things and those things are present, and we aren't able to get through them by ourselves. So thankful that God has placed such wonderful pastors in our lives! Thank you Dr. Clavell, Rev. Medrano and Pastor Joe!

We continue to press on, knowing that God has a plan for us and that we will be okay at the end of this particular journey. I double checked my scriptures and nowhere does it say that it would be easy (as much as I would prefer it to be). As my former junior high youth leader said a few days ago "I have a love/hate relationship with God's many lessons in my life". I agree Steve!