God is Enough... God is Enough... Still not feeling it... Maybe if I keep thinking it I'll start believing it...
Today was a very crummy day for me at work. For those of you who know me very well, you know that I LOVE MY JOB! (And for those of you who don't me all that well, I'm not being sarcastic, I really do love my job.) I have a great group of men who work for me and we make a great team. We have accomplished so much in the past two years since I became their supervisor. They accepted me right away and (still) respect me. And today I found out that I may no longer be their supervisor and could be forced to take a position at a lower level.
The reason is not due to anything that I've done, nor is it related to our current budget crisis; it is more of a retaliation issue that may result in my being removed of my current duties. My immediate supervisor and director are very supportive and are doing to do whatever they can to make sure that I stay in my current position, but it may not work.
I cried when I read the email that instigated this relevation and I was angry at the person who initiated the email. I was also very sad that I could be losing everything that I worked so hard for and I knew that my employees would be very upset if they lost me, especially for this reason.
I managed to compose myself and finish out my day and accomplish the tasks that I had set before me. I then climbed into my SUV and the tears immediately started flowing and they flowed all the way home and well after I walked into my house and sat on my bed.
My eldest came in and sat down on the bed next to me and asked me why I was so upset, so I shared with her. She was very sympathetic and asked me if I had prayed about it (which I had just finished doing when she had come in) and she said that she would pray for me and this situation. I felt so comforted at that very moment. As she left to finish getting ready for another visit with her bio. mom and half sister, she also said that maybe it was time for me to be a stay at home momma. I did not fall off the bed from shock that these words of wisdom came from my eldest, but I'm glad that I wasn't sitting on the edge or I probably would have.
We left and stopped by Mark's school to pick him up so that he could join us in our trek out to Chandler. His first comment was how excited he was for me, because I am so happy in what I'm doing, that if God takes that away from me, that He must have something totally spectacular to take its place.
Okay, I'm feeling it now. God IS ENOUGH! If I lose my current position, it won't be the end of the world and I've trained my employees to carry on without me and I have been working on training each of them to do my job when I'm not there, so I have no doubt that they will be fine without me. Whether I move to another position or I lose my job completely, GOD IS ENOUGH and I'll be just fine. I also forgive the person who is behind all of this and can't wait to find out what is in store for me at the end of this latest test.
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you're really wonderful at what you do. and in the time you've been doing it, you've added an entire fire dept fleet. your guys rock and i hope you're proud of your work. i wish it hadn't come to this.
ReplyDeletei try not to comment on your blog because it must be really annoying to never get a break from your fawning little sister. but i'm proud of you. i'm proud of what you've done. i'm proud of your motherhood. i'm proud of your leadership. oh, and i'm super proud of your oldest. that's a fine young woman you're raising.